てあげる vs てくれる vs てもらう: The Difference (with Examples)

The core difference

Every one of these is a て-form verb plus a giving/receiving verb. The action is the same; what changes is whose perspective you take and which way the kindness travels:

Notice the particles: with あげる and くれる the doer is marked by が/は, while the person helped often takes に. With もらう, you are the subject and the doer takes に (or から) — "I received (from that person) the favor of…".

See it in one situation

One scene — someone helps carry a bag — told three ways so the contrast is vivid:

The second and third sentences describe the same real event — Mochi carries the bag — but くれる spotlights the giver's kindness, while もらう spotlights you receiving it.

〜てあげる — I do a favor for someone

Use it when you (or your side) do something kind for another person. The favor points outward, so the person you help is not you.

One caution: 〜てあげる can sound like you're drawing attention to your own kindness, so with teachers and superiors people soften it (with a humble form) or just avoid it. Full details: 〜てあげる guide.

〜てくれる — someone does a favor for me

Use it when someone else does something for you or your in-group, and you feel thankful. The giver is the subject (marked が), and the favor flows inward.

If you leave out くれる and just say 先生が直した, it becomes a flat report with no warmth — くれる is what adds "for me, kindly." Full details: 〜てくれる guide.

〜てもらう — I receive the favor of someone doing something

Use it when you receive a favor, often one you asked for. You are the subject, and the doer takes に (or から). It's very common when you request or arrange help.

てもらう and てくれる can describe the same event; the difference is only the viewpoint (who is the subject). Full details: 〜てもらう guide.

The politeness ladder

Each verb has a politer version for when the other person is a superior. Swap it in and the meaning stays the same, only the respect level rises:

• 〜てくれる → 〜てくださる — someone (respected) kindly does it for me. e.g. 先生が教えてくださった.
• 〜てもらう → 〜ていただく — I humbly receive the favor. e.g. 先生に教えていただいた.
• 〜てあげる → 〜てさしあげる — I humbly do it for a superior (use with care; it can still sound presumptuous, so it's less common than the other two).

For everyday talk with friends like モチ, the plain forms are perfect; save くださる／いただく for teachers, bosses, and customers.

Common mistakes

1. Using てあげる when the favor is for you. "My friend helped me" is 友だちが手伝ってくれた, not 手伝ってあげた. あげる can never point at yourself.
2. Mixing up the subject of くれる and もらう. Giver-as-subject → くれる (モチが持ってくれた); receiver-as-subject → もらう (モチに持ってもらった). Match the subject to the verb.
3. Wrong particle with もらう. The doer takes に (or から), not が: 先生に教えてもらった, not 先生が教えてもらった.
4. Over-using てあげる with superiors. Telling your teacher 手伝ってあげます sounds boastful. Use a humble form or rephrase.

Quick recap

• てあげる = I do a favor for someone → outward; the helped person is not me.
• てくれる = someone does a favor for me → inward; giver is the subject; I'm grateful.
• てもらう = I receive a favor → I'm the subject; doer takes に; often I asked.
• Same event, different viewpoint: くれる (giver's kindness) vs もらう (my receiving).
• Polite ladder: くれる→くださる, もらう→いただく, あげる→さしあげる.

Your turn

Browse all practice →