尊敬語 (Sonkeigo): Respectful Language to Honor the Other Person

When you actually need it

Japanese politeness runs on two honorific systems, and sonkeigo is the one you reach for whenever the action belongs to someone above you — the listener or a respected third person like a 先生 (teacher), a customer, or a boss. 尊敬語 (sonkeigo) lifts that person up by describing their actions with elevated verbs. Its counterpart, 謙譲語 (kenjōgo), does the opposite job: it lowers yourself to show respect indirectly. This guide is about sonkeigo only.

That split is the whole point, so hold onto the one rule that never bends: you describe the other person's actions with sonkeigo, never your own. Saying お書きになる about yourself sounds absurd — like calling yourself "His Majesty." Once you can hear whose action you're talking about, you know whether sonkeigo is even the right tool.

Making the switch

There are three productive patterns you can apply to almost any verb, plus a set of special verbs you memorize outright.

The workhorse is お + ます-stem + になる: take the verb, drop to its ます-stem, and wrap it in お…になる. Native (kun-reading) verbs take お; Sino-Japanese する-verbs usually take ご (ご利用、ご注意、ご説明). A few common words break the rule and take お (お電話、お食事), so learn those by ear. For requests, お + ます-stem + ください is the polite cousin of 〜てください. And the passive form (passive) doubles as a lighter, easier honorific — less formal than お〜になる but more polite than plain ます; context tells you it's respect, not passive voice.

Alongside the patterns, a handful of everyday verbs have their own dedicated sonkeigo. These are the highest-frequency ones — memorize them:

Watch the irregular polite forms. Four of these verbs end in 〜る but become 〜います (not 〜ります): いらっしゃる → いらっしゃいます, なさる → なさいます, おっしゃる → おっしゃいます, くださる → くださいます. This is a small group of exceptions, so drill them until they feel automatic.

In real situations

Start with the お〜になる workhorse — a teacher's reading, writing, and app use, all elevated:

When you need someone above you to do something, the ください request forms carry the respect — the second one you'll hear on trains:

The passive-as-honorific shows up when you want respect without the weight of お〜になる — note the first sentence uses 帰られる and 出かけられる the same way:

And the special verbs come out in the most polite moments — asking a teacher what they'll drink, where they are, what they said, and more:

Getting the level right

Keigo goes wrong less on the forms than on aim — here's where the level slips:

1. Aiming sonkeigo at yourself. Never say 私がお書きになります or 私はいらっしゃいます. Raising yourself is impossible; to be humble, switch to 謙譲語 (kenjōgo) — e.g. 参る (humble for 行く/来る), いたす (humble for する).
2. Piling it on ("double keigo," 二重敬語). Don't stack honorifics: お召し上がりになる is overkill because 召し上がる is already sonkeigo. Just say 召し上がる.
3. Regularizing the irregular polite forms. It's なさいます and くださいます, never なさります / くださります.
4. Crossing お and ご. Native verbs take お (お読みになる); Sino-Japanese する-verbs take ご (ご利用になる). Don't say ご読みになる or お利用になる.

The short version

• Sonkeigo raises the other person — listener or a respected third party. Never use it for yourself.
• General pattern: お + ます-stem + になる; for する-verbs, ご + noun + になる.
• Respectful request: お + ます-stem + ください / ご + noun + ください.
• The passive form (行かれる、来られる) is a lighter honorific.
• Learn the special verbs: いらっしゃる, おっしゃる, なさる, 召し上がる, ご覧になる, ご存じだ, くださる.
• Four end in 〜います: いらっしゃいます, なさいます, おっしゃいます, くださいます.

Practice it